At the ripe old age of 21, I became a husband to a beautiful wife and a stepfather to three terrific kids, who are currently 12, 7 & very almost 2. We'd all been living together for a little while before hand, so the marriage caused no big surprises and before long we'd thoroughly settled in together.
I had always heard, as I assume everyone has at this point, that you have to be brave and open. After all, communication is the key to a successful relationship. That relationship could be with your wife, friend, work colleague; little hint, I always feel better after a couple minutes venting at the cat... but I wasn't expecting this fact to be true with a newly acquired stepson. To say that I wasn't expecting it is a bit of a misnomer really. I should say that I'd never really given it much consideration, we'd always gotten on so it'd never crossed my mind. Similar to "How do they change the light bulbs in the cinema ceiling?", I assume there's a large ladder involved but I've not given it all that much thought... you get the picture.
Now anyone that knows me, knows I am proud to say I am from Yorkshire. A land where the hills are hillier, the grass is grassier and people just know how to speak proper! But, alas, therein lies my problem...
I awoke one morning and went downstairs to find the 7 year old, my now stepson, playing on the Xbox. His sister, 12, turns to him and asks "Can I join in?"… a nice simple question I'm sure you agree.
"Bolognese!" Came the response, with all the confidence and gusto of Pavarotti, mid bellow.
"Bolognese?" She replied, as confused as... well... an 12 year old who had just stumbled upon Pavarotti mid bellow.
"Yes" he replied in a very chirpy manner "Dad says it all the time!". Both his sister and I looked quite confused for a few moments after this, but she sussed it out a little sooner than I did.
"By all means" She said in that, perpetual, eye rolling tone that all pre-teens are constantly practicing. And she was right.
My standard response, to all the little harmless questions you tend to find yourself on the receiving end of when responsible for a 7 year old, is by all means. He'd completely misheard me and decided to go with it anyway. For a little while I worried that this north to south language barrier would be an issue, but it wasn't. Verbal communication wasn't the be all and end all, it was my actions that mattered. But even this mini-epiphany wasn't what had really stuck with me. I was amazed at his commitment and bravery at diving head first into a new phrase, with no regard to what it meant or what the outcome might be. He knew how to use it in context and that was all he needed.
I'm unashamed to say that I took inspiration from this and since then I've tried to make sure I volunteer for more. To bravely take that step into the unknown, or the unpleasant (thank god nappies aren't permanent!), and it's been surprisingly nice! I know my neighbours better, I've had more meaningful conversations with people I meet. It's just been great!
So, the next time someone asks you something harmless and you're sitting on the fence, try jumping in and saying "Bolognese!", You might just like it!
Fantastic read! :D
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